Flash In The Brain Pain: Age Of War 2

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We all want to better ourselves. It's a dream as old as The Beverly Hillbillies pilot. So in today's flash game, you'll be exploring how conflict can increase us as a species. You know, like how Stalin indirectly created astronaut ice cream? Exactly. Whatever doesn't kill us, only becomes a place to put our sprinkles.

 

 

Using this philosophy, Age Of War 2 is a sprinkle-filled joy. In this game, you'll be distilling nation-vs-nation conflict to the smallest common denominator. DEFEND YOUR CAVE is the watchword, and the tribe of rival cave people across the way are marching without cease toward your domicile. What? Why are we using those crazy words? Man, haven't you ever read ancient history? This is how Homer use to rock the hizzy!

 

 

FINE, we promise not to say "hizzy" any more. Anyway, the bad guys are sending their best men after you, and so your best men must come out and prove their worth on the field of battle. There's a variety of units to unlock so of course you can expect the computer will get to the best ones first. Just remember: this glorious nation was created by sneaky underdogs who stuck it to a far better equipped man. Don't let the triceratops calvary intimidate you!

 

 

Now, there will naturally come a moment when your cavepeople are no longer cutting edge, and they begin to crunch like toasted crackerbread before the incoming forces who are clearly just cheating by using those bronze helmets you don't even have yet. So our advice is to make sure that first evolutionary jump happens right on top of their base, to make sure your last dinosaur girl has a chance to hold the line while your blacksmiths finish learning the secret of making armor. Then keep one eye on those experience points, Caesar, so that next time, you'll be the one with the superior firepower!

 

 

Age Of War 2 might not be a serious study of global warfare, but c'mon, it's Friday. Go click some buttons!

 



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