I Got That Bzz Bzz Pow: Woot Weads The Wire

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Every week in this space, weâ??ll take a look at the news and offer our own incisive blend of commentary, analysis, and poop jokes. The news you need, from a voice you can trust, in the 90 seconds you have to spare: thatâ??s Woot Weads the Wire.

SACRAMENTO (UPI) -- A former member of the Charles Manson family has had his parole recommendation denied by California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Legal experts say this the event was just not even close to being as cool as it sounds.

PLEASANTON, Calif. (UPI) -- A fireworks display apparently angered bees at the Alameda County Fair in Pleasanton, Calif., and nearly 100 people were stung, officials said.

In a unrelated story, a similar celebration in Horridville went off without a hitch.

ORLANDA, Fla. (UPI) -- A drug to treat malaria, one of the world's deadliest diseases, could come from sponges, sea worms and other undersea creatures, a scientist says.

A secret government team has been dispatched to collect the first segment of the drug, even though COBRA is already known to be in the area.

LONDON (UPI) -- A British study says harbor sears are giving birth to their pups earlier every year as a result of changes in the marine ecosystem.

But mathematicians were quick to reassure the public that, if these trends should continue, eventually the births will wind up where they started and the problem will have corrected itself.

CHARLOTTE, N.C. (UPI) -- The parents of a 3-month-old North Carolina child say they woke to find a hole in the ceiling of their apartment bedroom and a bullet in the baby's crib.

The child has already been approached by recruiters from most major hip hop labels.

MAIDSTONE, England (UPI) -- Workers at a British farm said cows exposed to a theater group performing renditions of a Shakespeare play increased milk production by 4 percent.

Unfortunately, a later performance of Tom Stoppard caused a stampede.



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