I Knew It Back When It Was Still Hydrogen: Woot Weads The Wire

[RSS FEED]

Every week in this space, weâ??ll take a look at the news and offer our own incisive blend of commentary, analysis, and poop jokes. The news you need, from a voice you can trust, in the 90 seconds you have to spare: thatâ??s Woot Weads the Wire.

LIEGE, Belgium (UPI) -- Belgian scientists say two 400-million-year old fossil plants show the earliest known examples of wood.

And in a related story, a strange epidemic of giggling has hit fourteen year old boys worldwide.

CAMBRIDGE, Mass. (UPI) -- New research suggests oxygen was being produced on Earth hundreds of millions of years before any traces of it appeared in our atmosphere, U.S. scientists say.

Social scientists believe this discovery may help them track and categorize the very first hipster.

COMPTON, Calif. (UPI) -- Los Angeles County authorities say they are investigating an alleged Twitter post by rapper The Game that tied up phones at a sheriff's station.

However police have made it very clear that they are in no way investigating The Player.

NORMAN, Okla. (UPI) -- U.S. researchers say people in so-called culture of honor states have a greater tendency than others to react to reputation threats with hostility and violence.

Citizens in the culture of honor states asked the researchers what exactly they meant by that crack.

PASADENA, Calif. (UPI) -- A NASA-led research team says it's laid to rest a recurrent rumor that Earth has a weight problem, reporting that the planet is not getting fatter after all.

NASA also suspects that the rumor was started by those same mean girls who told everybody that they saw Earth making out with Venus during the Moon's last eclipse.

SPARTANBURG, S.C. (UPI) -- Republican presidential candidate Michele Bachmann wished Elvis Presley a "Happy Birthday" Tuesday, only it was the anniversary of his death.

Bachmann added that she'd loved his work since the very first time she saw him, playing Shannen Doherty's brother on the original Beverly Hills, 90210.



More...