Thirty Check-ins In The Hole: Woot Weads The Wire

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Every week in this space, weâ??ll take a look at the news and offer our own incisive blend of commentary, analysis, and poop jokes. The news you need, from a voice you can trust, in the 90 seconds you have to spare: thatâ??s Woot Weads the Wire.

BINT JBEIL, Lebanon (UPI) -- A group of Lebanese set the world record for the largest serving of kammouneh, a Lebanese national dish, the group says.

Sources say the sixty people enjoyed the dish in the late afternoon, making them the first official kammouneh tea community.

FORT WORTH, Texas (UPI) -- A Texas judge says a juror who tried to "friend" the defendant on Facebook must serve two days of community service for contempt of court.

Furthermore any Foursquare badges or mayorships the juror receives during that time must be forfeited to the state.

DENVER (UPI) -- New instruments 1,000 times more sensitive than previous ones may soon answer question about whether there is life on Mars, U.S. scientists say.

But scientists quietly worry about how the distant planet could cause the extra-sensitive instruments to feel rejected and alone, resulting in all the data taking the form of handwritten Cure lyrics.

ARLINGTON, Va. (UPI) -- The Cadillac Escalade leads the list of passenger vehicles targeted by thieves, insurance claims for 2008-2010 vehicles show.

A statistician who described the crimes as escalade-ing was found beaten to death at the scene.

TORONTO (UPI) -- Canadian psychic said Tuesday she may accept a skeptic organization's $1 million challenge to test her powers once she gets more information about it.

Sources hint the experts have placed the requested information inside a sealed envelope, and are inviting the psychic to use her powers to read it at any time she likes.

PHILADELPHIA (UPI) -- Joey Vento, who became nationally famous for telling customers of his Philadelphia steak shop to order in English, died suddenly.

Those who know him say his life was like his sandwiches: mostly well done, then a cheesy bit added just before the end.

NEW YORK (UPI) -- A couple who spent their honeymoon at New York's Waldorf-Astoria hotel said they are returning for their 50th anniversary at the same rate they paid in 1961.

A spokesperson for the hotel said he was sorry about the error that led to the couple being so drastically overcharged back in 1961.



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