Hey, The Gag Worked For Groucho: Woot Weads The Wire

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Every week in this space, weâ??ll take a look at the news and offer our own incisive blend of commentary, analysis, and poop jokes. The news you need, from a voice you can trust, in the 90 seconds you have to spare: thatâ??s Woot Weads the Wire.

LONDON (Reuters) - Bob Dylan, forever looking for a new road to walk down, has taken up the bagpipes.

Rock historians are said to be impressed that the star has finally found a way to make even the harshest critics beg him to sing.

CRESSKILL, N.J. (UPI) -- A New Jersey police department said an officer will face discipline for a 5-year-old photo of him smoking a fake marijuana joint in uniform.

And how the joint got someone to make it a uniform, he'll never knowâ?¦

EAST LANSING, Mich. (UPI) -- U.S. researchers who have used sex to try to control the fish-killing sea lamprey in the Great Lakes, say death will also be used, in the form of necromones.

TV executives are already skeptical, saying in their experience mixing sex and death never lowered anyone's numbers.

(Reuters) Actor Zachary Quinto, known for portraying Spock in the 2009 blockbuster film "Star Trek," has publicly come out as a gay man.

This decision rockets Quinto past Nimoy in the category "Spock Mostly Likely To Be In An Internet Fanfic.

KODIAK, Alaska (UPI) -- The U.S. Coast Guard seized a rat infested high seas fishing boat containing illegal drift nets, a government agency said.

Despite the arrest of the rats, the new Muppet movie remains on track for a November release.



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