I'll Send an SOS to the [Outer] World

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I mean, not every song can be "Roxanne," right? Or "Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic"? You can't just crank out hit singles like "Don't Stand So Close To Me" or "Every Breath You Take" without letting a few clunkers slip by. For every catchy, fun track like "Message in a Bottle" there's gotta be a boring, sober song about child custody with a music video set in a science fiction farm town.

Right? That's a rule, is it not? No? Well, that sure didn't stop Sting!


In this, the video for his 1996 single "I'm So Happy I Can't Stop Crying" (brought to my attention by good friend and chief internet weirdness locator, Dave Bow), the former Police front man rides what is either a crystalline or gelatinous horse sporting the often-misunderstood fluff-hawk hairstyle. While singing about his departed wife and children, he nods pleasantly at the farm workers and townspeople and CGI aliens that he passes.

These characters, meanwhile, go about their daily routines. You know, all the usual stuff: leading their T2000 cows through a weird force field thing that turns them into bottles of milk; wrangling livestock on their saddle-saucers; landing their old-fashioned hover trucks; line dancing in a giant mirrored space ship; etc.

"So," you're thinking, "these wife and kids you mention above, they show up in the music video at some point, correct?" Nope. No where to be found. That's the best part: this ridiculous video is made even more ridiculous by the fact that it displays virtually no connection to the song itself. In fact, if there was a little less twang in the guitar riff and the lip synching wasn't so spot on, I would almost believe that this was just a fan-made video of some song laid clumsily over some footage from a failed Sting-starring sitcom about a futuristic rural community.

I, for one, would tune into that show daily, but since it doesn't exist, we're forced to make due with these 3 minutes and 47 seconds of genre-bending gold. Enjoy!

know any great, ridiculous, barely-related-to-the-song music videos? Post them in the comments!



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