Completely Unfair Comparisons: On Astronomy, Podiums, and Bird Watching

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There are plenty of places on Woot where you can find helpful information. This is not one of those places. Every week we will be comparing 3 pairs of things that shouldnâ??t be compared using this formula: Unrelated Thing X vs. Unrelated Thing Y in terms of Function Z. Facts will be misunderstood, overlooked, or changed for the sake of the argument. Enjoy.

1. A Good Reputation vs. An Extensive Knowledge of Astronomy in terms of Getting the Last Bit of Toothpaste out of the Tube

If you know astronomy, it means you see the big picture. You understand the phases of the moon. You can name all the stars. Youâ??ll know about a meteor shower or eclipse before it happens. And all of this is impressive, donâ??t get me wrong. Itâ??s just not at the right scale for toothpaste. How could you possibly care about a tiny dollop of tooth-cleaning goo when youâ??ve got entire galaxies to keep track of? Itâ??s impossible! Meanwhile, you get good reputation how? By being a good person and taking care of the little things.

Advantage:

A Good Reputation  

2. A Podium vs. The Hood of Your Car in terms of A Dinner Table

The podium is to the traditional table as the wolf is to a dog, if wolves were smaller, taller, and did more press conferences than dogs. Meanwhile, the hood of a car is not in the table family at all. However, that doesnâ??t mean it should be ruled out. It is an expansive surface after all, big enough to hold several plates. On top of that, itâ??s portable, stylish, and keeps your food warm! All you need to do is fire up the engine.

Advantage:

The Hood of Your Car  

3. Bird Watching vs. Math in terms of Predicting the Outcome of the Super Bowl

Look, you can stand around a chalk board all day, looking at statistics, making calculations, drawing conclusions, etc., etc. But hereâ??s the thing: all those numbers, do they know what it feels like to soar through the air like a football? Do they know what itâ??s like to fly? To free themselves from gravityâ??s pull if only for a moment? No! They have no idea! So now, if youâ??ll excuse me, Iâ??ll be taking these binoculars into the woods for a few hours, and when I get back, Iâ??m calling my bookie.

Advantage:

Bird Watching  

The Rebuttal of the Week for last week goes to user Lomky who had this insight to add to the "Fork vs. Prolonged Eye Contact in terms of Soup" debate:

The Fork gets a chance when you think of Eye contact as physical contact with your eye, instead of staring. I'd take eating soup with a fork over soup eye drops any day.

Touché, Lomky! Touché! Now it's your turn. Got a bone to pick with any of the above three comparisons? Post it below, and I may admit that you're right next week.

Photos:"Me with Mark Hamill" by flickr user, Alan Light; "Hood Ornament" by flickr user, Moriar; "Bird Watch @ Belur" by flickr user, Ashok666. All used under a Creative Commons License.



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